Lessons Learned 1-5

24 11 2010

Being at home for the holidays has opened my eyes to several lessons that can be learned when visiting home. Here are Lessons 1-5 with more to come:

Lesson 1: If your father has remarried and is still madly in love with his new wife, brace yourself for their over-the-top PDA, pet names and adoration of each other so you aren’t taken unawares by their make out sessions and hearing a woman call your father “sexy” and “baby”.

Lesson 2: If your father has recently discovered facebook, Twitter, Pandora and the Wii…please humor him and don’t point out how painfully far behind the curve he might be and rejoice with him in the wonders of social networking.

Lesson 3: If your parents decide that they want a live Christmas tree for the holidays, brace yourselves that it will likely be a three day adventure because the tree ranch where they want to purchase their locally grown live tree will not be selling trees until a few days after the day that they want to put the tree up, that the tree will invariably need to sit in an enclosed room overnight to “dry off”, that all of the living room furniture will need to be moved around unendingly until the right “ju ju” has been procured and that you will almost always end up moving all the furniture back to the original places because the tree will almost always look best in the first and most easily accessible placement suggested before the intricate moving venture.

Lesson 4: If your ex-army brother gets a new phone with a bunch of apps, you will most likely end up watching him beat up a cat via touch phone as a demonstration for your father of the wonders of the touch screen.

Lesson 5: If your father didn’t wear pajamas when you were a kid, please don’t expect him to don pajama pants just because you and your boyfriend are visiting.\

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