8 04 2010

I have a hypothetical pyramid that comprises my personal support system. I depend on the basis of groups of people that support me in every situation to varying degrees, and that is invaluable to me since life for the past ten years has been a whirlwind.

On the bottom are my close family (even though I don’t have much contact with them). I consider my family to be D’s family, D, my dad and stepmom and I exclude my maternal side of the family, my mother, my brother and paternal extended family since I have little to no interaction with them, stunted relationships and no basis for trust. My boyfriend makes up a big portion of that bottom piece of the pyramid.

The smaller tiers as the pyramid grows to the sky are comprised of friends, depending on length of time I have been friends with them, my relationship with them, my interactions with them and my level of trust. The most trustworthy (like Cory whom I have known since the first day of college and with whom I have been in touch and still trust for the past 7 years) are right above my family but have been there for me in ways my family have not. These are the ones who stick with me in hard times, the ones that don’t judge me or criticize me, the ones who tell me the truth. These are the ones that I can call at 4 in the morning after one too many drinks and cry my heart out to them and they don’t hate (Chili Pepper). These are the ones who told me the truth when I didn’t want to hear it and who showed me that when I hurt myself, I hurt them (Chrz and Doom). These are the ones who were still my friend even after I lashed out at them and didn’t deserve their friendship and loyalty (Dizzle). These are the ones that stuck with me on the days when I didn’t know what to do with myself (like the breakup with D a few years back) and who loved me when I didn’t think anyone could love me (KP, Ogre, Daver). These are the besties.

Above that are the other friends with whom I am also close and are still close friends but are not on the speed dial for the melt down moments. These are the friends who are great and fabulous people but with limitations. There are reasons why I don’t let every single thing fly from my mouth unedited with these people, whether it’s because they have enough on their plate, they are not as close to me or I fear their judgment. I love these people and they make up a piece of the pyramid.

Lastly and at  the top is myself. I know that I am a big part of my support system because what I tell myself influences what I think, how I act, how I interpret situations. I can control how I succumb to stress and other factors that would relate to my ability to deal with stress. I can choose to compartmentalize and deal with stress and hardship or I can melt down and rely on others to keep me going…it’s a choice.

The reason I look at my support networks as a pyramid is because I believe that you could take me out of my support network and the network would not collapse but if you took one of my besties or D or my family away, essentially taking a block from the base of the pyramid, the pyramid would collapse. I think that the base blocks of my pyramid (the big groups of people and the ones on which I depend the most) are the ones that would be the most missed. I would miss these people the most and the pyramid would indubitably collapse if one of those foundation blocks were removed.

Who makes up your support pyramid? Are they friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you consider yourself part of the pyramid?




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