Drained Batteries

24 03 2010

I have been watching an inordinate amount of Netflix as I languish in allergy hell…movies that don’t require many mental faculties to process are ideal when one’s head is swimming in a veritable sea of Claritin, Airborne and other medicinal aides. I have considered ripping my head off and UPSing it to God for a tune-up because these seasonal allergies and sinus flare-ups seem to be getting more and more severe the older I get. Anyway, back to the Netflix on D’s PS3…I have been watching a lot of movies…and the batteries on the controller keep needing to be recharged (which is inconvenient because I have to get out of bed to hook up the cord to the controller I am not a technologically advanced person and can never remember which inconvenient cord goes in which “port”. Needless to say…the controller doesn’t get charged til D comes home after work and I point at the slowly blinking light and ask him to “fix it”.

Like the dying batteries in that controller…my joy in life has drained and needs a boost. I have no joy in my work and feel overqualified and underappreciated in my current position. I love the concept of the job but do not enjoy the daily contact with people…apparently I need to stop saying I am a people person with excellent interpersonal communication skills because I just downright hate people. I am too thin-skinned and sensitive to deal with people on a daily basis because it wears me down and makes me cry on a nightly basis…and I have found a new hatred for the phone. Eww. The sound of a dial tone or ringing phone has my nerves on edge.

I also have found that I am getting more and more anxious with little reason…I think the job has my nerves frayed, I am sick (which translates into Doogs being the equivalent of a whiny two year old) and PMSing (TMI?) so I have not been fun to be around lately. I am in desperate need of something recharge my batteries and get me back into my fun-loving, life appreciating self…I need a boost. Someone come recharge these batteries…I guess that now that classes are done…I am relieved but also let down since I was so accustomed to excellence in classes and having results and being the best…now I am just a number in the midst of nameless employees and it’s hard….I miss my old job at The Craft where I loved the people I worked with and the work that I did. I worked hard and received acknowledgement for my accomplishments…now I am at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole and longing for a job that has any vague relevance to my college degree…anyone? anywhere? I can write…I can edit…I can proofread…please hire me!

Sorry this is so down…I will be back with more when I am feeling better in body, mind and soul…I do believe that venting and letting yourself mourn is healthy rather than always trying to be artificially happy…

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