I’m allergic to erythromycin

22 03 2010

I watched The House Bunny today because I switched my work shift from Monday to Thursday since I am feeling sick…allergies are kicking my butt. The title of this post is from that movie (which I have been putting off watching because it looks silly and with so many movies out there and so little time…I love the ending where Anna Faris gives her little speech about how she is allergic to an antibiotic but she takes it anyway because it gives her skin a glow and makes her look and feel prettier. She asks a girl in the audience whether she knows that feeling where she feels prettier and therefore feels better about herself as a result…and it made me think that it’s really sad to think that women relate feeling good about themselves with how cute or pretty they feel they look.

I think the movie is cute and it is a good premise but I am saddened to think that girls equate positive thinking with the way they feel about themselves…I have been subject to this concept for years and it’s sad but unavoidable to some degree in the society in which we live. I know that I am not the first person to write about this or think about this but it makes a difference because each new person that speaks about this raises awareness for the cause…women should feel beautiful for who they are and what they do…not the way they look. Looks are not the end-all and women need to feel valued and treasured because of who they are…I really hope that my daughters wont feel the pressure to fit in the cookie cutter mold and be gorgeous to feel self worth…their self value and respect for themselves is what will make them beautiful.

This kind of falls into what Caitlin from Healthy Tipping Point and Operation Beautiful has been saying all along and she has great positive messages for women in her blog posts and her upcoming book (0ut in August)…and that makes her a personal hero, role model and inspiration since she has been one of the blogs that I love since I discovered her a year or more ago. She has been there to be a constantly positive voice that supports female empowerment through self realization, self value and self love…and that is something we all need more of in a world where image has become everything. Go to http://www.healthytippingpoint.com/ or http://operationbeautiful.com/ for more details and examples of why Caitlin is a personal hero! Let her positivity and beauty inspire you as a woman and a powerful being to be beautiful inside and out and not let societal constraints make you feel devalued.

I hope that on my journey back to health and beauty and balance…I can find a way to feel as beautiful and sparkly as Shelly did in The House Bunny…I know that it is a journey and a growing experience but I felt like I had slid backwards many steps yesterday when I was saving photos from facebook to my hard drive and I looked at how I looked in 2005 to 2008 and I was thinking that I missed being a size 0 when all my clothes looked great on me, I had a prettier face, I took better pictures, I had more friends and more positive feelings about myself…and then it hit me.

I didn’t eat for years and years and I tortured myself over every bite, every calorie just so I could fit in the size 0 jeans and mini skirts. I had heart problems, my hair was falling out, my skin was freaking out, my teeth were getting destroyed, my eye sight was going bad, I had little energy, I was emotionally and mentally a wreck and I was crying on the inside all the time…just because I let my pant size tell me how I should feel about my self. For now…I am ripping all the pant sizes out of my jeans and shorts and writing beautiful messages to myself there. I can cherish my curves and my shape because it took a lot for me to embrace the fact that I might not be a size 0 anymore but I am still gorgeous.

And even if my heart doesn’t believe those words 100 percent yet…if I keep saying them enough, I can start to see (little by little) the truth to those words.

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