and the rain came down, down, down…

1 10 2009

The weather last night was a little frightening with the thunder, lightning, wind and rain slanting against my windows with some ferocity. I was kept awake for a good portion of the night due to the inclement weather and I was less than pleased about the shady night’s sleep…so I didn’t leave for SuFu today like I had planned. It stopped raining this afternoon but I wasn’t feeling well and I was tired so I am waiting til tomorrow with the hopes that the weather lightens and the thunder stops.

I am headed out to SuFu for another wedding. Yes, that’s right, another. My stepmom said that she doesn’t know anyone else who goes to as many weddings as I do but that’s the deal…everyone is at that point in their lives where weddings are common ground for weekend planning…thankfully, this season is coming to an end and I don’t have any more weddings planned for the rest of the year.

I see the beauty of weddings, I celebrate them with a genuine smile and I appreciate the joy of the occasion but the countless weddings don’t come without their own sting of bittersweetness. I see everyone rolling around in joy and I feel a little sad that I don’t know when I will have that for myself. I know that someday I will have that joy and feel that way about someone but the past few months have left me feeling less than enthusiastic about my own relationship…which translates into me feeling sad when it comes to happy nuptials. I have to focus on the j0y of other people finding happiness and pray that God gives that joy to me someday.

Maybe this rain is making me esoteric. Maybe it makes me gloomy. Maybe it just reminds me that I don’t have to put a sunny smile on my face every day since not even the blue sky smiles every day…sometimes it takes some time to cry.

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